February 2012
36 posts
1 tag
“Oh, sweet boy, I’m gonna let them eat you.
Oh, sweet girl, the...”
– Catatonic, Angelspit
Maybe I should have given YOU up for Lent...
dabadestbitch:
I don’t think I understand. I think Maynard needs to PERSONALLY show me the difference between his gun and his pistol.
January 2012
39 posts
3 tags
We're never going to fucking learn, are we?
I just tried using Liam Neeson's speech from the...
Amazon Customer Service Rep: Sir, we're very sorry but your package won't ship until the 16th of September unless you upgrade your shipping.
Me: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for overnight charges, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Amazon Customer Service Rep: I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to talk to my sales manager.
